A Business Transaction
by fan-nerd
Summary: For whatever reason, Law thinks that calling the two assholes for a job is a good idea. He regrets the decision as soon as the redhead picks up the phone.


A/N: Entirely an excuse to use the line about the switchblade. Enjoy!

**A Business Transaction**

* * *

There's too much fucking business to be done and he doesn't have enough fucking time.

When he looks at the book, there's around a hundred scribbled lines crossing out names, and he groans because there's about a hundred more he needs to add, and there just is _not_ enough time in the day for anything. His gang is too busy. They're tied up with some shithead who was trying to sell their drugs across country borders and skim off the top, hits for politicians, and other illegalities. They're a small, _private_ organization with many connections, but that doesn't mean they can handle the phone ringing off the hook at all hours of the day.

Since it's come to this, the insomniac on a mission clicks his tongue, bites his lips, and makes a phone call that he knows for sure that he'll regret.

"Kid speaking." The asshole _would_ pick up on the first try, of course. "State your business or hang up the goddamn phone."

The words practically pain him to say but he musters up his energy, draws a deep breath through his nose, and puts on his slimiest voice. "I need to call in a favor."

The man on the line stalls for a moment, trying to place a voice to the words. "Trafalgar...? Seriously, what the fuck. You don't call me for months, fuck up my deal, and then try to call in a favor? Hang up, you dick."

Another voice unexpectedly cuts in. "_Torao_?! Gimme the phone!" Buoyant and endlessly pleasant, the youngest of the three men chips in. "Kid's just grumpy - you know how he is. What's up?! You never call me. Why are you calling Kid instead of me?!"

Law feels impatient, but hopes for the best. Maybe he can make the best of this disaster-to-be yet. "Luffy. I'm sorry. You know as well as I do how business goes. When it's busy, it's harder to call. Would you be willing to convince Kid to hear me out on this one?"

"Can we come to visit?" The brat chirrups. Law looks around at his messy apartment, filled with grimy photographs and half-written goals for every day, then he groans. "I'm not doing it unless we can come over!"

"I don't get to have any fucking say in this?!" Kid yells from further away, his breathing labored. Law figures that Luffy is fighting the redhead off to continue talking.

"Alright. Bring Eustass with you, if you can."

He can practically hear Luffy beam in response. "You can count on me!"

* * *

When Kid and Luffy are sitting in his half-assedly cleaned kitchen, Law joins them with three steaming cups of coffee, a royal ton of sugar and milk, and crosses his legs on the table, cradling his mug in his hands with a scowl. After another moment, he pulls out a shitty piece of paper and unfolds it for his guests to see on the table. Kid scowls deeply as he reads it, Luffy clutching his coffee, spills it, and leans over his shoulder.

"No." The redhead spits on the floor before guzzling the hot beverage, temperature non-withstanding. "You're joking, right?"

"I can pay you." Law offers, side-eying Luffy as he bounces and spills coffee all over his floor.

"Do you even know how much I _charge_, fucknuts?! You're out of your goddamn mind, you are." Kid wags a finger and sips at his mug with the passion of a fiery sun. "Just for shits and giggles, let's hear your plan."

"We go in, we knock the bastard in charge out, we steal the goods from the safe once it's been blown to smithereens, then we get the hell out. Are you blind _and_ stupid, Eustass?"

Kid growls, raising his fist, but before he can connect it to Law's face, Luffy interrupts them with a great big smile on his face. "We're in!"

Law quirks an eyebrow and Kid slams his fist on the table. "No! No, you dumbass, shut the fuck up! I don't want any part in this shitty ass job. What in the hell possessed you to call _us_ for this job? You're a shit-for-brains tactician. This is why you don't have any goddamn friends in the business!"

"Eustass, shut the hell up. _I'm_ starting to wonder why I called you guys for the job too." Trafalgar winces at the redhead's volume and plugs his ears. Before Kid can get in a position to kick his skinny ass, Luffy once again interjects.

"So, when's dinner?"

* * *

Once the building's on fire - which is on fire, of course, thanks to the combined efforts of the trio that eventually got their shit together and decided to man up, get the job over with, and collect their rewards - Kid and Law are at each other's throats, and Luffy is stuffing his mouth with rolls that the redhead and the bag-eyed man had shoved in his pockets after nearly an hour of complaints for food.

Their arms are full and they're spitting insults.

"I could've killed the asshole if you'd let me!"

"The point wasn't to **kill** him - I told you that a hundred times you fucking moron!"

"I'm going to blow your brains out, Trafalgar!"

"Just try it. Just you fucking try it. I swear to god I'll cut your ear off with a switchblade before you can even get to your gun."

Luffy, of course, with first-degree burns on his cheeks and fingers, blood on his chest, and a dimpled smile interrupted them yet again. "Those rolls were delicious! So, when are we gonna work together again, you guys?!"

Law and Kid share a look of contempt and exhaustion so bone-deep that they agree to get the hell away from there as quickly as possible, if for nothing else than shutting the brat up before he scares anybody they know out of town.


End file.
